Sometimes when I make a mistake, overreact, hurt someone, forget something, or blatantly sin I feel like a genuinely horrible person unworthy of God, unworthy of forgiveness from Him, or someone I've upset. I often feel like it can never be made right. I blame myself, overanalyze, and beat myself up. Sometimes I apologize immediately, and sometimes I stay angry and grow bitter. Sometimes I seek to fix it and sometimes I hide from it. Feeling so unworthy makes it difficult to bring it to God.
If you're human like me, I'm guessing you can relate.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 NKJV
Psalm 51 was written right after David had committed adultery with someone else's wife and then had the husband killed upon finding she was pregnant. The prophet Nathan then came to David to tell him he needed to seek God out and repent of his sins. David didn't get offended at being called out, didn’t try to defend or excuse himself, didn't lash out at Nathan for warning him, and didn't try to hide his sin or hide from God.
When David realized his sin he went straight to God with a repentant heart and pleaded with God for forgiveness, asking God to "create in [him] a clean heart" and to "renew a right spirit within him." He did what we all need to do when we've messed up; humbly seek God, confess, repent, and surrender to Him knowing He is the only one that can purify and renew us.
Just as David sought God for renewal so should we.
Whatever you're struggling to bring to God, to confess, to surrender control of, to seek His help with, to do His way… I've been there, and so has every other human being. Today, seek the renewal of your spirit that only God can give. Come to Jesus, accept His sacrifice for your sins, accept His salvation, and rest in the Father. Lay it all at His feet and allow Him to fill you up and renew you by His grace, mercy, and forgiveness over and over again. Never forget that forgiveness and renewal awaits all who come to Him in repentance.